The Ache for Home
Plus, Two Book Anniversary Events!
“The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.”
-Maya Angelou
I think there are two seasons, or times of the year, we especially think about home. One is December, during the holidays, but I wonder if the other might also be during the month of May, with graduation season, the end of a traditional school year, the onset of summer, and the marking of a season of transition.
I think about the idea of “home” often. I wonder what “home” means to you, and to the people I meet.
What is home to you? How do you define “home”?
Is home a place, is it people, or a combination of these?
Do you sometimes feel a sense of internal displacement, feeling like an outsider, even in familiar places?
Is home something we create, is it a practice, and is it something that is built?
Does a sense of home change after a time of transition, or grief, or even joy?
What if you are from more than one place? What if you have multiple cultural identifies or geographic places you call “home”? Which one do you choose—or do you choose more than one?
What about the homes we intentionally build and those we inherit? I don’t mean necessarily only the physical homes, but also the communities and the friendships we grow and build, much like we may have a “chosen” family?
What does home mean or feel like if the home you are choosing is unwelcome, or excludes you? Do you keep trying? Do you change—or do you continue to claim belonging?
What shapes your sense of home? What makes you “feel at home”?
This is a topic I think about often, probably because I keep asking myself this question. I don’t have the answers.
It’s a topic I like to explore, because I want to better understand the linkages between our sense of belonging, our sense of connectedness, and our sense of home.
I can feel “at home” among certain people, and not “at home” among others. Is this what “home” means?
I may feel that I belong or come from a certain place, and that may be my geographic home—but is it the place “I feel at home”?
The answers are layered and complex. The answers can be yes for one, and no for another.
I do know this: the quote at the very beginning of this article resonates with me. Home is:
-an ache that lives inside of us
-a safe place
-a place where we can go as we are
-a place we aren’t judged or questioned
Here’s another gem from Maya Angelou:
“I long, as does every human being, to be at home wherever I find myself.”
- Maya Angelou
Home is a place we feel safe, we feel welcome, we are loved as we are, we are needed, and wanted, and feel cared for.
Home is a place we feel seen and known.
I suppose one way we feel at home is because of the people who live in a place.
And yet, we can miss a physical place, too, such as a physical home, or a terrain, or a landscape that evokes a strong sense of connection and familiarity, that once we step our feet on that ground in that place, we feel the roots immediately sprout under the soles of feet. It is a place that evokes belonging. We feel comfort, peace, or a sense of belonging in that physical space.
And still, there is more, there are more ways and places to feel at home. Perhaps it is through words, from reading a particular book or a meaningful paragraph. Perhaps it is through music or some other art. Perhaps it is through a spiritual practice. Perhaps it is through nature.
I don’t know about you, but that brings me a sense of calm and peace. It’s reassuring to imagine the multiple ways that home is experienced or exemplified—because if we don’t experience “home” in one way, perhaps we can experience it in another.
This longing for home is a journey we are all undertaking in one way or another. Perhaps we are simply at different stops and points on the way and we keep finding and learning new ways to be home.
Chicago Indian Arts Literature Festival 2026
Last month I shared to stay tuned for a special announcement. Here’s the first (and the next one is below). I’m looking forward to participating in the Chicago Indian Arts Literature Festival on May 30, 2026! This coincides well with my 2-year book release anniversary (April 2024) and in celebration of AAPI Heritage month during May. If you’re in the area, plan to join us! I’ll be on this amazing Author’s Panel. Read more about the festival here.
Another Announcement! Musuem of Wisconsin Art and Wisconsin PBS!
I’m excited to share that I’ll be on Wisconsin PBS! I will be delivering a talk on Loneliness and Social Connection at the Museum of Wisconsin Art (MOWA) in early June which will be recorded and available on the Wisconsin Public Television and the archives. I’ll share more information as I learn more where it will be housed.
As you think about the concept of “home”, here are some questions for you:
What does home mean to you?
Is home people or a place? Or both? Or something else?
What makes you feel “at home”?
Are there people that make you feel safe, seen, and known? Do they feel like “home” to you?
Is home a physical or geographical place where you feel you belong?
I’d love to hear your thoughts about home. I feel this is only scratching the surface. While I have read about belonging and social connection, I haven’t done specific reading or researching about “home” and explored its meanings. What books or articles do you recommend I should read to understand this more?
As always, I love to hear from you and your comments. Feel free to comment below or message me.
Warmly,
Beyond Ethnic Loneliness is for sale for under $10 here, available anywhere books are sold, or at your favorite local independent bookstore.
I’m an author, writer, speaker, public health professional, parent, and friend.
Read more about me at my website and my speaking topics!