October's Hope

Oct 28, 2022

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Beauty Abounds
October 28, 2022

Dear ,

Happy Friday!

If you’re new around here, you probably found me through the 30 Prayers For When You Feel Lonely and Left Out Ebook. I write about belonging, identity, loneliness, culture, feeling like an outsider, faith, and finding beauty in this broken yet beautiful world.

Together, Yet Apart

In his book, Together, Vivek, Murthy, Surgeon General of the U.S., writes that as he traveled the country talking to people about their health, he discovered a great need, one of utmost public health importance. Do you know what that was? It wasn’t depression, cancer, heart disease, depression, obesity, or drug addiction.

It was loneliness.

A recent Harvard report corroborates this fact, finding that 36% of Americans feel “serious loneliness.”

Loneliness not only affects mental health, but also physical health. One study reports loneliness reduces lifespan as much as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Another study found loneliness affects the brain in a similar way to physical pain.

With these kinds of statistics, we know that with the numbers of people we come into contact with, some are bound to be lonely; in fact, it might even be us. Perhaps that’s why you’ve downloaded my prayer ebook for when you feel lonely.

As relational beings, we are operating with significant relational deficits, and our avoidance and disconnection of each other is leading to a profound sense of isolation and alienation.

Paradoxically we are more “connected” online through social media, smart phones, video technology, etc., but we are also extremely lonely. Why? Because social media, texting, email, TikTok likes, IG followers, comments, are not equivalent to true and real community. We can’t belong to social media, email, our phones. We can only find authentic community with other people.

Furthermore, in our (American) hyper-individualistic culture, we tend to have a “do it yourself” mentality and value independence. In fact, our culture is contributing to our loneliness. But of course, it is much more complicated than that, because loneliness is the result of many factors, not only cultural factors, and there are different kinds of loneliness as well.

I began writing and talking about loneliness, identity, and belonging some years ago. Two years ago I was on an IG live with a life coach and consultant, talking about belonging—and shared a bit of my story and background here. Last spring I shared more of my story on a podcast on the Mudroom here.

The truth is I experienced that loneliness, too. It has been a “friend” of mine, which is why I write about it. I suppose it is time to give this close “companion” of loneliness a voice and share what it has been teaching me all of these years.

“Recognition is the first human quest,” according to Andy Crouch, in his excellent book, The Life We’re Looking For. When we’re born, he says, we emerge from the womb seeking a face. We’re born looking for someone. We’re born yearning to belong.

And as we grow, we do not lose that desire to belong. It’s an inherent, critical component of our design. It isn’t a flaw; we were created this way.

We are created for community, for belonging. We aren’t meant to slog through days and years alone. No, we are meant to slog through them together.

If you feel alone, I want to remind you you’re not alone. I’m here, wading through the muck and mire and beauty and ache of this life right with you. And more than that, God is with you. May He wrap his shawl of Shalom around you.

October’s Hope: Treasures From the Tree Maker*

Abscission (noun)*

the act of cutting off; sudden termination.
Botany. the normal separation of flowers, fruit, and leaves from plants

Senescent (adjective)*

growing old; aging.
Cell Biology. (of a cell) no longer capable of dividing but still alive and metabolically active

The Tree
From a place deep within itself, the autumn tree bursts forth in glorious color, and shows a different face of its beauty. Colors emerge like hidden jewels, sparkling in the sun. The season is turning, and once again I contemplate the language of the Tree Maker speaking through the deciduous tree.

The Leaves
For months they are magnificent lush and velvet green, but as temperatures cool, leaves transform, change colors, and strike us with emanating, glowing hues. We have to catch the show at the right time. The window is short. A week too late, and the leaves could be gone, fallen to the ground in a dusty heap.

Questions
Why do leaves change color in a glorious display for only a short time, only to fall to the ground, dead?
Why do trees lose their magnificent crown, drop their jewels, shed their shimmering coats, just before the onslaught of bitter, brutal cold, winter winds, and ice and snow? Why at that moment of time?

The Tree Maker
Surrender. Did you notice that glory shines brightest before the autumn tree dies during autumn? The autumn tree sparkles, then gives up a part of its treasure–its glorious wrap–and only a spindly skeleton remains for the long winter season. The autumn leaves that glow, and then die, exemplify the beauty of letting go. Its branches are always lifted upward like arms in praise. With a dark, cold season approaching, the tree surrenders bravely as it is stripped of its glorious coat of color and stands bare naked in the coldest months of the year.

Finding Rest. In the whirlwind of life the tree is firmly planted. It may sway in the wind, but it won’t be plucked out of the ground. Its roots are firmly established. The peace, the place of rest, amidst seasons, the bitter winter, and the whirlwind of life, is found in a deep spiritual place: “Return to your rest, O my soul, For the Lord has dealt bountifully with you.” Psalm 116:7. The leaves return to their place of rest.

Deeper Roots. Abiding with the Tree Maker makes for deeper roots. Surviving the winter is part of the process. Surviving in the environment where planted is also part of the process. During one season the tree may bear fruit, in another season, the seeds fall and lie dormant in the ground, but the seeds do not die in the winter.
I am cultivating life, even in darkness, even in the long winters of life. I need this promise, this truth. I’ve held onto it fiercely for many long, dark seasons.

Finding Rest. The trees of autumn appear to me like aging trees, and through their changing colors, they show off their wisdom and knowledge, as if these are the crowning acts of their lives. But then their glory dies all too soon, and their colors fade and their leaves drop dead to the ground. Then the snow falls upon the bare tree.

October
As in: trees laughing leaves, floating in the wind.
I catch a handful of laughter, toss it back in the air.

As in: the hidden beauty in growing old, in death, revealed and witnessed through vibrant colors of burnt orange, flaming scarlet, russet, deep gold.
I see the lines of mirth and hues of grace in an aging autumn. I, too, am another year older, passing through another autumn, an unknown number of autumns remaining.

As in: the beauty of letting go, surrender, the tree succumbing to the cold of winter without its luscious wrap of leaves.
The tree, another year older, yields to the process of time and change. I, too, have seasons of hard times, removal, loss, and renewal. I lose, I gain, I start again.
Each autumn holds the aches of many deaths, small and large. I am reminded of surrender, of death, of holding onto something stable, of needing an anchor in this life, as winter storms appraoch.

As in: watching youthful green disappear as quickly as it came.
I soon will see the tree, standing in the middle of winter like a stark, bare skeleton with spindly limbs. Only its leaves will have died; the tree remains alive and breathing, waiting for its time to bloom again.
Hidden jewels exist behind the coat; “great and unsearchable things”, words of life and wisdom and the peace of His presence, that the Coat-Remover Himself reveals after the false wrappings of this life are taken away.

*definitions from dictionary.com
*This piece of mine was originally published on The Contemplative Writer

On the Bookshelf

In August, I I read 30 books, and last month, I I reached 35+ books read this year so far. My goal this year was to read 40 books. (You can click those links and see my last book lists.) Well *drum roll* I am now at 52 books!! Yes, you read that right. 52! I’m pretty chuffed with that number, and I have two more months of reading left in the year! (Of course, I have lots of writing, too. :)

Here is a list of titles I've read or am currently reading since my last newsletter:

Abuelita Faith by Kat Armas
The God Who Sees by Karen Gonzalez
Raise Your Voice by Kathy Khang
The Ungrateful Refugee by Dina Nayeri (audiobook)
The Deeply Formed Life by Rich Villodas
The Secret Keeper of Jaipur by Alka Joshi (audiobook)
Write Better by Andrew T. Le Peau
The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri (reread; audiobook after 10-12 years)
When We Belong by Rohadi Nagassar
Liturgy of the Ordinary by Tish Harrison Warren
Asian American Histories of the United States by Catherine Ceniza Choy
A Sojourner’s Truth by Natasha Sistrunk Robinson
The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan
A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman
The Language of the Birds by Amy Nemecek (poetry)
Amy Nemecek’s poetry book, The Language of the Birds, was the 2021 winner of the Paraclete Press Poetry Prize—and this book is that! It’s a gem. Click here for more information about her book (scroll down).

Have you read any of the above books? What books are you reading, or what’s on your nightstand? Hit reply and share. :) I’d love to know.

Book Writing Update

Making more progress! I have drafted even more words into coherent sentences! (If you’re new here, I’m writing a book about ethnic loneliness; you can read more details about the book project here.).

People are often interested in the process, and I’ve been asked several times about my particular process. I now have *drum roll* half of the manuscript finished! Of course, this is an early draft, and I expect more editing and revising ahead. But I’m so excited about it and where it’s going and still cannot wait to share it with you. If you want to chart progress, here’s .

Highlighting Poet Melanie Weldon-Soiset

Once in a while, I highlight a fellow writer, author, or poet. This newsletter, I’d like to highlight my dear friend, Melanie Weldon-Soiset. Melanie is a published poet, the poetry editor of Geez magazine, and currently working on her MFA in poetry.

We used to participate in a monthly poetry feedback group together, and in 2021, she and I did a Facebook Poetry reading and analysis together for National Poetry Month — and it turned into an Instagram Live because we couldn’t get the technology to work! (We later posed the videos on Facebook.) We’ve been poetry pals for a while now.

Melanie is a person of integrity and I respect her as a poet and a person. We first met online in a writer’s group and last fall, and then she came to visit me in person! It was a blast. Melanie has had numerous poems published in various places (a list is on her website), and she often holds classes and workshops (I’ve taken them). Melanie also offers thoughtful and incisive poetry feedback at a price that’s an absolute steal. Sign up for her newsletter and sign up for her feedback. She’s one to watch. : ) Here’s her website, and tell her I sent you!

It’s been a glorious fall! Here are some pictures of tree gazing, apple picking, and baking.

Homemade baked apple cider doughnuts

Poetry

Humble Dazzle
by Gregory Orr

Humble dazzle
Of autumn:
These leaves
On the ground -
Each one a page
In the Book,
A poem that says:
I lived.
I was
A small part
Of the whole
Story - this
Is my song,
This is my glory

Source

A Prayer for When You’re Searching for Answers

This month’s prayer is excerpted and edited from the 30 Prayers For When You’re Lonely ebook:

Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit? to be out of your sight? If I climb to the sky, you’re there! If I go underground, you’re there! If I flew on morning’s wings to the far western horizon, You’d find me in a minute—you’re already there waiting! Then I said to myself, “Oh, he even sees me in the dark! At night I’m immersed in the light! It’s a fact: darkness isn’t dark to you; night and day, darkness and light, they’re all the same to you.
- Psalm 139:7-12 (The Message)

***

Dear God, I feel isolated and overwhelmed with loneliness. Help me to see your presence all around me, in the voices of those I know, and through the beautiful world you have created; in birdsong, in budding flowers, in the golden orb of the rising sun. I know you accept me and know me. Even though I know you are with me, I often feel very alone. Please help me to feel your presence and bring others into my life who care. Help me to recognize you in every face I encounter and in the beauty I find around me. Thank you for being near and for these glimpses of you in the world.
***

You can read August’s prayer, A Prayer for Unbelief (which is not included in the free eBook, I am providing it only for my newsletter subscribers), by clicking September’s prayer, A Prayer When You’re Searching for Answers, can be found (scroll to the end).

If you have not received a copy of the free prayer ebook, you can download your free copy here.

Fun and Interesting Links

Coffee vs Tea Smackdown (which one is your preference?)

If you’re missing ingredients for a recipe, try a substitution

Story of a North Korean defector

Your Mind Wanders Because Your Brain Whispers

An American Girl (Uvalde School Shooting Survivor)

Black Death 700 Years Ago Affects Your Health Now

How Political Rhetoric Inflames Anti-Asian Scapegoating

The Return of the Lipstick King

The New Yorker shares their list of the top books of 2022 so far

How Well Do We Love the Strangers Among Us? - written by a friend, Catherine McNiel, and excerpted from her book, Fearing Bravely

BONUS REWARD photo! If you’ve stuck with me and scrolled all the way down to here, you get to see this! The photo above is my brother’s dog, dressed up as a hot dog! Isn’t he adorable?

, it would make my day to hear from you. Hit reply and let me know what beauty you’re witnessing around you, what you’re reading, or something else that’s inspiring you. If you’re making your way through the 30 Prayers for When You Feel Lonely and Left Out eBook, I’d love to hear how that’s going, too.

Until next time, remember beauty abounds. What beauty and daily wonders surround you?

Warmly,
Prasanta

Thank you for being here! If this is your first newsletter from me, you probably subscribed from my website, signed up for the prayer Ebook, for a giveaway, my Chai Recipe, or other resource. I’ll share helpful links, resources, and inspiration regularly. If this newsletter encouraged you in some way, would you consider sharing with a friend? (Make sure you check your spam folder and move this email to your inbox!)

Until next time, make it a lovely one,
Prasanta

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